I just had to do this again, because some of you are just soooo weird.

People often get to this blog by googling. Obviously, it’s usually by googling my name or the title of one of my books.

Other than that, the most common google phrases that bring folk here are:

• “How to write in the first person”
• “Whom, who, whose, who’s”
• “How long should a book be?”
• “How to get an agent”
  
• “How to beat your pregnant wife”

Right. Now the first four I understand – and I did write about the last subject once, but can anyone tell me why there are so many men out there who are interested in beating their pregnant wife? (To them: Man, you really need to shape up, because not only are you all lousy husbands, but I bet you’re going to make lousy dads too.)

Here are some others that had me puzzled:

• “Photos of a bulging purse.” Boy, did they come to the wrong blog.
• “Dose (sic) the cold kill Australian desert fish?” I’ve no idea, and I’m blessed if I ever remember mentioning fish and desert in the same blog, let alone the same sentence.
• “Song for your pregnant wife.” Now that’s more like it.
• “What sucks about the tropics”. Don’t get me started.
• “Things kangaroos aren’t allowed to have.” Honest! That was what they googled.
• “A strong belief that one is pregnant.” Yanno, I haven’t had that belief for at least thirty years.
  
• “How to tell a man you are pregnant.” Nope, haven’t had that need for almost as long. (Lady, I suggest you open you mouth and let the words come out.)
• “Hindu aunty doing pee near home.” Ok, I was so intrigued how that one led to my blog, I googled it. I’m none the wiser. At least I am none the wiser about the connection, but I am lots wiser about a quite amazing selection of other stuff…
• “Make yourself look buff in pictures” Well, there is a limit, and I think I passed it, long ago…
• “Animal porn” Words fail me. Animal Porn? And they came here?